Funny Chart Roundup 3

Here's another batch of funny charts from the week. I've been posting them on Instagram and Tumblr each week day if you don't want to wait for the roundup.

You can check out the previous two roundups right here. Enjoy!

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Funny Chart Roundup 2

More funny charts from the week. You can see all my charts and various other nonsense and hilarities on my Tumblr site.

Click on an image to open it in the light box. Enjoy!

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Funny Chart Roundup

You gotta love a funny chart. I've been having a blast this week making a few and posting them on my Tumblr site.

Click on an image to open it in the light box. Enjoy!

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5 Ways to Hate Yourself at the End of the School Year

Why is the end such a time of incredible self-doubt as a teacher?
Why do we focus so much on our shortcomings?
Why do I feel like such a failure at the end of the year?

I don’t look forward to this part. I hate that I do this to myself year after year. I’m sure you do too. I want to relax and celebrate the closing of another year, not beat myself up over every oversight I’ve made. I’m trying to keep it all in perspective, and I’m doing better this year.

But if you actually want to hate yourself at the end of the year, here’s five ways to do it.

1. Think of scores, not students

Put your attention on your spreadsheets instead of your relationships. Those numbers unequivocally show exactly how you’ve taught this year. Why ask the students? You’re not here to get to know students. You’re here to teach. Keep checking that data and sweat every tiny detail. Keep slicing and dicing it every which way until you’ve found every flaw in your year. Data don’t lie.

2. Focus on your failures

You had some rough times this year. Make sure to remember every time you yelled at your class or acted unfairly. Don’t even think about forgetting those times you handled student issues poorly. I’m sure you could have done better. Keep reminding yourself that you could have and should have done better.

3. Get caught up in all the details

Make a list of every tiny, inscrutible task you need to do for the end of the year. Read it to yourself often and obsess over it. Forget about the joy and fun of this time of year. It’s time to get all kinds of anxious and stressed. Make sure to snap at your students for getting in the way of your to-do’s. .

4. Don’t reflect, regret

Let’s face it- there’s no way you’re ever going to learn from any of your mistakes. Geez, how is anyone supposed to learn from failure? Make sure the end of your year is filled with regrets and a healthy dose of anxiety. Reflection is for suckers. Take that guilt trip. You’re worth it.

5. Treat it as an end instead of a beginning

Get real sad. Embrace it and wallow in it. Think of how much you’ll miss your class. Focus on the past and keep reminding yourself that you will never have students like these again. This is the end, my friends. No sense looking forward to a fresh start for the students and yourself. That Dr. Suess guy definitely didn’t know what he was talking about when he said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

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Don't Be Afraid to be a Goof -Ball for Your Class

Staff Infection- Take Me Down to the JME from Mr. Stortz on Vimeo.
Mr. Stortz (Sledge on drums) and the rest of Staff Infection rock the house for the end of the year celebration!

I'm a big believer in being a goof -ball at school. First of all, I just want to have some fun. Being one of four guys at an elementary school can drive me crazy sometimes. Being goofy and a little over the top helps me to cope with all of the, uh. . . femininity.

Second, I think it's important for the students to see teachers have fun. It makes you more of a real person. I think we do our students a disservice when we present a one dimensional, teacher mode only personality. Students need to see us experience a spectrum of life's emotions. These experiences can open students up in a way that nothing else can.

Humor is especially effective at breaking down walls and engaging students. I love to see a shy kid chuckle when I do a bad English accent to pronounce a word. A wig can go a long way to engaging a class in a character study. My teacher friend, Mike, and I goof around all the time about crazy fictional things we are going to do, and always in earshot of our classes.

My school had their monthly "Fan Jam' celebration on the second to the last day of school. The video above is a goof -ball song that I and the other three guys at our school performed. It was a great way to end the year. The students can't wait to come back!

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